who am i

I have changed. It is not a recent change, it has been an ongoing change...and not for the better. My anger is coming back like no one's business, and if something goes wrong that is totally my fault, I always blame someone else. Perhaps all the problems I have been having is all because of me. What happened to me? What happened to who I used to be where life was easier and I was so much more content. Maybe that knife wound in my back is from me throwing myself on it. Life was so much easier when I wasn't me present day. How did this happen? How did all this anger come back so quickly? Why do I keep trying to put something over this wound so that no one will notice. I am still so much in love with her, but I am horrible at showing it. "We don't belong together." Ouch. The whole "it's not you, it's me" thing doesn't work on me. It is not her, it is both of us, but mostly me. I don't know what happened, but the old self who was a good and loving guy can't seem to come back. I will do anything to clean this wound and to never see or feel it again. But is it too late? Only time will tell.....